Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
