I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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