we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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