Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
