Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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