glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
