the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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