I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Pappa wants mamma naked
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I deserve this hangover.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
