I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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