the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I queefed so loud it echoed.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
