I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
