and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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