Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
