i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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