At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
