eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
