If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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