do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
