ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
