My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
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