finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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