Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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