did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I love you. Go after that dick
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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