sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize