I wish I could punch you in the face.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize