So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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