it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
