Can Purell be used as lube?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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