The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
