Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
