one two three fourrrrnication!
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
