i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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