this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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