so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
