Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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