"it" just moved
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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