the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
