areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
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