just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
