69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
