I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
