8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
