I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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