i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
