dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
