This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
