i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
