Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
