You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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