I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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