She's JV to your varsity
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
