i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
