May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
