Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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