Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
