He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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