You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
