the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
