how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
