you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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